Stinkin' Update

So let's see....besides the brand new harddrive 'n computer news 'n the Dell order I'm currently waitin' on of extra memory to give this sucker an additional energy boost (hmmmm, I wonder if Dell sells anything that'll give ME an additional energy boost?), what else has been goin' on in my stinkin' thinkin' life?

Well, if ya count the argument I recently had with the useless drunk in the basement about her refusin' to clean up the shit her cat plopped down on the hallway carpet right outside my living room door 'n how annoyed I was cuz that shit STAYED there until sometime the very next day cuz I refused to clean it my damn self 'n how much I HATE that miserable excuse for a human being;

and if ya count the four hundred twenty eighth time that I hadda huge 40-or-so-minute blowout on the telephone with my crazy daughter who was silly enuff to order a set of dishes online as her co-worker's wedding gift but who never checked the contents of the wrapped gift box until the week before the wedding only to find out when she finally DID check it that half the dishes were in little tiny pieces so she flipped out cuz she "didn't know WHAT to do NOW" (bless me Jesus for I WILL sin if she don't STOP this crazy shit once 'n for ALL);

and if ya add up the fact that my financial situation sux bigger 'n much hairier mule dick than ever before cuz somehow I don't have enuff money this month to pay a couple of the minimums due on a couple of the seven or so outstanding credit cards so now I'm scramblin' around to locate someone who can help me with either a) a windfall of cold hard cash money with no strings attached, b) a loan of some sort that I can pay off in ways other than cold hard cash money, c) some sorta loan consolidation company who will take on both me 'n my $25K debt but who won't wanna screw me up the ass in the process, d) gettin' my credit card companies to feel absolutely positively sorry for me so that they wipe my entire $25K debt slate clean either via genie-in-a-bottle or osmosis or somethin' foreign to me like that or e) helpin' me get up the nerve to declare bankruptcy even tho I don't own a doggone thing in my name so what's the sense. I even got the bright idea of just NOT payin' ANY of those darn cards monthly minimums anymore...notta gosh darn dime to any of 'em...'n lettin' the companies just chalk it up to a loss experience 'n have 'em eat ALL my debt. But on second thought 'n while durin' a rational moment I realized that once I stopped payin' 'em they'd quickly add up all kinda late charges 'n missed payment charges 'n then my excellent credit score (believe it or not......I've NEVER missed a payment nor have I ever paid late and I ALWAYS paid more than the minimum due so last I checked my score was around 768) would go down the tubes 'n then they'd close my accounts and THEN what the hell would I do without my precious credit cards? HOW the hell would I be able to eat 'n pay the bills? Well, I wouldn't. Oh, woe is me.

And if ya figure in the fact that right now if my fingers weren't so damn numb from this double- barreled carpal tunnel crap 'n how I'm tryin' to smoke 'n drink 'n type all this nonsense at the same time how I'd probably go on and on about how much MORE miserable I really am but how durin' another quick bout of rational thinkin' I assumed that ya probably don't even wanna hear it anymore cuz ya got enuff problems of yer very own....

well then, I reckon that means I'm just about done here.

Yes, I think I am.

But rest assured my lil' ones......I'll be back with more stinkin' thinkin' sometime soon!