Saturday, November 02, 2013

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Catchin' Crap

While sittin' outside waitin' for a taxi earlier today I watched as a woman walked her dog down the block. Now, that's really nuthin' outta the ordinary around here cuz plenty of folk walk their dogs in this area, but what WAS outta the ordinary was the scene which was about to unfold before my very eyes.

It was obvious that the dog was about to take a wicked shit and I really hoped that the woman had brought a bag or somethin' to put the crap in so that she didn't leave it on the sidewalk for some poor ol' schmuck like me or my son to step in. I spotted a plastic bag in her hand and I was immediately relieved, thinkin' to myself  "thank God someone around here has enuff sense to clean up after their damn dog". Most DON'T. And that shit really burns my ass. But speakin' of shit burnin' one's ass and feelin' relieved......

As the dog squatted and began to relieve himself the woman quickly stepped behind the dog, opened up the plastic bag and bent over. Now, I just assumed that she was droppin' down to pick up the turds her animal had left behind but what she did instead was really really crazy. This woman was tryin' to place the plastic bag above and below her dog's asshole so that she could CATCH the hot steamin' load of crap comin' outta it. Instead of just waitin' for the shit to hit the floor as most folk do, this lunatic was on the sidewalk, in plain site, lookin' like she was tryin' to play a game of "Catch Me If You Can". It was all so very disturbin'. And the look on that poor ol' dogs face was, like, one of total disgust and embarrassment. I felt for the poor ol' pooch. I really did. She, on the other hand, appeared to have no damn shame at all.

So I ask all of ya dog lovers out this somethin' "new"? With all of the newest contraptions that different inventors have come up with to pick up dog shit, is this, like, the "new thing" out there? Is this what cleanin' up dog shit has come to? Cuz if so, I'll be damned..!

Saturday, June 08, 2013

Lost & Found

Have ya ever lost somethin' that was real important to ya and then had someone return it to ya? For the first time in my life I recently did....and cuz it was one of the most gut-wrenchin' experiences I've ever had, I hope it'll be the LAST.

Very early in the a.m. 3 days ago I suddenly realized....45 minutes later after leavin' my house.....that my very expensive (Samsung Galaxy 3) cell phone had dropped off my belt and was gone. By that time I had already been on & off the bus, walked damn near half of downtown, been in 2 stores and 1 bank, and hadda go retrace ALL of my steps in search of the damn thing....which was nowhere to be found.

Now, keep in mind that at time of mornin' there's already a huge group of "illegals" standin' around on our downtown sidewalks waitin' to be picked up for a days work; there's a large crowd of "methadonians/crackheads/pill-poppers/dope fiends" surfin' the city streets in search of their day's fix, amongst the many other workin'-class folk who are out & about on their way to their respective jobs, etc. So I did what any other normal person would do who just lost somethin' so important to 'em.....I asked each & every one of the above named persons if they had just seen a cell phone in a black case. And of course each answer was always a "NO!".

By that time I was a hysterical, sweaty, cryin' mess....thinkin' about how someone out there musta picked up my lost phone and had already wiped my bank accounts clean out (that cell holds EVERYTHING......all of my shoppin' & bankin' info/websites as well as ALL of my passwords, etc. etc.). I was ready to commit my damn self. But what else could I do? So I went to my usual a.m. coffee spot, McDonalds, to sit with the usual gang of misfits and I explained what happened. Since I didn't have a phone nor their telephone number I couldn't call my carrier yet to advise them of the loss and I was already thinkin' about any missed calls/texts I may have unknowingly received....which made me even MORE hysterical. I wanted to go make one last round about town just to check one last time, so I did.

I walked back over to the last stop where I had departed the bus and once again asked the unknown group of public commuters whether anyone had seen my phone. I got the same negative response but also had one kind, carin' lady offer for me to use her phone to call my phone to see whether anyone had found it. She dialed my number and I suddenly hear her say "hello?" She actually had someone on the line with her! Yes! Yes! Someone answered MY phone!! Maybe there's some hope! She continues to tell this stranger on the other end my sob story and she then passes her phone to me. I hear a lady's voice introduce herself as "Alison" and she tells me how she found my phone, still in its case, in the lobby of our residential building and how she assumed it belonged to someone who lived there so she picked it up and brought it to work with her. She also said she already contacted my daughter (whose pic & tel. number are on the home screen of my phone along with my 2 sons) and explained what happened. I broke down thankin' her over & over again. We made plans to meet up at the building at 6 pm that night and I once again thanked her immensely. I was SO relieved and felt SO blessed that my cell fell into the RIGHT hands instead of the wrong ones. Oh, the things that coulda gone WRONG if only that phone had gotten into the wrong hands. I shudder to think about it all.

Right on time that very same evenin' my doorbell rang and when I opened it there was "Alison"....who turned out to be my next door neighbor! Remember, I had just moved into the building back in April so I had never before even seen this woman...but she was definitely a sight for sore eyes. She held out my phone to me, in its case, and gave me the short version of how she found it. She said she has the very same phone and had lost hers 3 times she knew exactly how I felt. I then told her the short version of how *I* had recently found a brand new Blackberry on our city streets and how I searched its contacts to find its owner but instead came across someone named "Mom" and called her to advise her of my find. Turned out it was her son's phone who musta lost it while goin' to the gym across the street. She came to my house to pick it up and brought me a bottle of wine as a thank you.

And speakin' of thank you's, I really wanna do somethin' nice for my neighbor Alison, but I am rackin' my brain as to just what. So if anyone has any suggestions I'd be open to hearin' about 'em. I thought of maybe purchasin' her somethin' like a Dunkin' Donuts gift card, or a nice house plant, or somethin' to that affect, but I'm just stumped.

So like I said above....if anyone here has lost somethin' and had it returned, let's hear yer story. Ya'll have already heard MINE, as annoyingly lengthy as it is ;-)

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Jeeeeezus, what the hell happened here NOW? I FINALLY come to sit a spell 'n do some looooong-ass overdue checkin' up on my fellow bloggers and when I get here my list of everyone I was followin' is completely GONE!


Monday, May 20, 2013


Wow, jeez......I damn near forgot all about this place. Been a while, huh? Can't even remember the last time I was here (but I reckon it ain't too damn hard to figure out, idiot...if ya just go take the time to LOOK!). I happened to run into it tonite while scrollin' down my list of browser "faves", so I figured I'd stop by and see what's happenin'. Everything here looks different. Cleaner, fresher, newer...but since I've been gone so long all these changes probably happened quite a while ago, no? Anyway......

There's a few things with MDJ that are different, too. For one, I moved on April 1st. Didn't make much of a gigantic leap tho. I'm still livin' in The Bowels, just a nicer part of The Bowels. Last October my landlady/so-called "friend" confronted me via phone and told me that she wanted us (me & my son) out. Yep, after livin' in her two-family private residence for 14+ years, she now claimed that we made "too much noise". Funny how when I moved into the house back in 1997, when it was me, my two kids, my then-boyfriend and his two kids (only on the weekends), we never made noise for her to complain about. But yeah, what it basically boiled down to was that lunatic schizophrenic man of hers. Me & mine just refused to take any more of his psychotic shit. So since SHE never hadda backbone to begin with she caved into his constant naggin' pressure of wantin' us out. But trust me, it was the BEST THING I EVER DID! Yes, I may have downsized quite a bit in the number of rooms/square footage and yes, this move definitely increased the total monthly rent cost by a couple of hundred bucks, but on the brite side I went from a cat-piss-&-shit-filled-smellin', dog-haired-covered, broken-down, 1900's old-ass 3 bedroom apartment to a brand new beautiful 2 bedroom apartment building with all hardwood floors, brand new kitchen with gorgeous granite countertops (all new appliances included), new bath, with a 24-hour security system and brand new laundry facility on site. And I'm LOVIN' IT!

Of course, with me havin' such spiteful, sinful, sicko kids of my own, one of 'em (I won't name names) just hadda leave the spineless ol' bitch a "goin' away gift" on the day we left. I'll just say that by now there outta be a nice pungent odor emittin' thruout the house :-) which outta nicely match all of the odors that *I* hadda deal with while I lived there. Oh yes, payback IS a bitch.

Secondly, I've added two females to my male duo of budgies. Yep, both guys now have female companionship...and I'm just waitin' to see if either one of 'em will gimme some cute lil' baby budgs. All 4 are in one large flight cage and each pair has its own nest box, ready 'n waitin'. I named them Rogue and Jubilee. Jubilee (the all-yellow one) is Storm's partner and Rogue....well, she's such a bitch that she won't let Skye or anybody else near her aggressive ass. But she WILL allow Jubilee to feed her every once in a while. It's funny how the 2 males quickly bonded to each other and now the 2 females are beginnin' to do the same. Hey, I've got homosexual birds. What can I say?

Here's the cute lil' bitches:
Ain't they pretty?

And speakin' of cute lil' bitches...for the past 20 minutes or so while I've been sittin' here typin' this, my female cockatiel, Zoey, has been screechin' her silly lil' head off behind me tryin' to get my attention cuz she wants outta her cage like right NOW. She's SO damn spoiled, its insane. Sooooo, I'm gonna end this here...while I still have intact eardrums.

Damn, I almost forgot just how much I like comin' here. Thanx for checkin' in. Hope to be back soon!