Friday, August 21, 2009

Y me?

I kinda doubt that I'm gonna be able to top a video of a monkey peein' in its own mouth (great stuff there, j!) but I think from now on I'm just gonna have to start regularly postin' some o' the dumbest freakin' things that I've heard on any given day.

Take today for example. How many times can ya actually admit to havin' some stranger walk up to ya 'n have THIS kinda crap come spewin' outta their mouth:

"Hey! How do ya like my teeth?" :::she asks me while sportin' a semi-toothless grin on her face:::

What the fuck am I? A fuckin' dentist?

I mean, REALLY people. What IS it about me that gives ya the impression I wanna stop 'n socialize with every last freak on every friggin' street corner?

Jesus H. Christ! Gimme a fuckin' break already! With my dark shades ALWAYS on (so nobody can see my eyes), my earplugs firmly tucked inside my ears 'n my iPod turned up to its highest volume (so I don't gotta respond to anyone callin' out my name), with me always bein' dressed in black from head to toe, walkin' with my head down (so I don't gotta acknowledge anybody comin' my way), wearin' a nice sized switchblade clipped on one hip 'n a set o' keys that weigh damn near 10 pounds on the other 'n with a mean-ass look always on my face 24/7, do I really look THAT approachable? Why me? Do I look like I really wanna be bothered by yer stupidity? Does it look like I wanna be stopped just to carry on a crappy conversation with yer crazy ass? If I've worn this tee shirt once I've worn it a hundred times:



So people, why dontcha just shut the fuck up 'n leave MDJ the hell ALONE already!

9 comments:

jadedj said...

Noooooooo problem. Not me. No way. I'm on the other side of the street...two blocks away.

Where'd you get that tee shirt? I want one.

Punch said...

Humm, Say MeanDonnaJean, I was just wondering if you might be able to help me. You see my jaw hurts from being bitch slapped by a woman after I gave her an award.
Rumor holds you are good with people and carry a lot of sympathy.
Of course the place was loaded with bikers and the lot of 'em just headed out, ya know after I gave that lady the award. Man, it is something to hear 77 harly's, 1 BMW K12, 2 Indians, and 3 whathefucisthas all with rich pipes, light up. Ya know how they like to rev the engine just befor moving out, I was so caught up in that, I swear she slapped me again. Anyway she really deserved the award, I could tell by the joy and laughter on the faces of her friends, that they all agreed.

biker baby said...

Sounds like my other half. He keeps asking me to look at his forehead and tell him if there's a sign that say's "If you're a moron, come talk to me!"

Rob said...

Are you telling me that you don't want to be approached by a weird crazy nut job with missing teeth and a nervous tick? How will I ever introduce myself to you?

Lady Ridesalot said...

Well... I guess this means you won't be winning any Miss Congeniality contests any time soon, heh? LOL!

Crusty said...

I hear ya! I am an asshole magnet also. Whats worse is that i'm in the motorcycle business so i HAVE to listen to the stupidity spewing from their toothless mouths. Ahhh yes, i just love to listen to some knuckle dragger telling me about "his buddy" that rebuilt his Road Kings motor, but now it keeps blowing head gaskets. Or how his "other buddy" changed a tire for him but now the bike shakes at "a buck ten" Now this turd wants MY free advise???UGH...fucking morons! Sometimes I fantasize about pulling a 12 gauge out from under the counter and pumping a deer slug into their caveman sized brains on THOSE days.

Camron said...

Hahaha. Here Here & Amen!

Thanks for stopping By at Adventures In Chrome & I'm glad to make your acquaintance...

& yes, I'll stay quiet on the street corner. Not a problem.
Ride Safe & I'll catch you on the Road

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