Friday, July 03, 2009

U Stayed

Ladies 'n Gents, followin' is the more sensitive side of MeanDonnaJean:

Lately I've been thinkin' a lot about us. Well, about you, mostly. About how on some rare occasions I really do miss ya. A lot. It may not be often but it does happen. I sometimes think about how good we were together back in the day. I sometimes think about all the places we went; the love we felt; the things we did; the laughs we had; the rides we took; the home we bought; and about how much bullshit ya dealt with comin' off my end. Like, my kids. My ex. My health. My late husband. My ex-boss. My miserable life in general. And how ya tried to change all that for me. And how it worked. For a while, anyway. But not as long as it shoulda. But that was all due to me. Not you. But ya knew that then. Ya still know that now. And still, ya stayed.

I dunno how. But ya did.

And then, without even a thought of anyone but me, I let it begin to slip away. As usual. I fucked it up. But not without plenty o' warnin'. I always told ya. I always told ya how bad I am at these things. About how it never works out forever. About how I'm not sure if I really want it to. Yet still, ya stayed.

Ya gave it yer all. But I didn't. And I really dunno why. I had no rhyme. No reason. Cuz yer a good man. A damn good man. One like I've never known. Ya put up with ME, so ya hadda be.

Yet here I am, a year or so later. Wonderin' why I did what I did. What happened? What if I hadn't? Where would we be right now? How much more ya could take? And most of all, would ya still stay?

So for all the above and so much more, I'm sorry.


See? I'm not ALWAYS a rude crude disgustin' distasteful bitch.

Ummm, what is it that the medication nurse always calls my weekend "Today's Tee" shirts?

Oh yeah......vulgar!

Oh well, ya can't please EVERYONE.

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