Sunday, April 17, 2011

P Party

Woke on Sunday mornin' at 8:00 a.m. which is basically much too damn early and unheard of for MJD's weekends but I figured what the hell so I got up to immediately go pee 'n to light a fire underneath the already-prepared-the-nite-before good ol' fashioned stovetop percolator coffee pot. None of those "drippity drip" coffee machines for this ol' gal, oh NO. Nasty. Just plain ol' nasty.

I then puttered around for a bit, throwin' back the bedcover to make up the bed, turnin' on the tv 'n checkin' to see if my beloved Sopranos was scheduled for its usual time slot today (which it was NOT, thank you very much for absolutely nuthin' AGAIN, A&E TV), turnin' on the turtle's heat/light lamp for the day, toppin' up the water level in her tank and in the fish's tank, turned on the good ol' desktop computer (which is now basically all MINE since I got the kid a laptop of his very own...there's no more "how much longer ya gonna BE?" and "I NEED the computer NOW!" and "its MY turn! YOU were on long enuff!"), plus did a few other what-have-you's and what-not's.

It was durin' one of those what-not times that I noticed my hands 'n fingers were more swollen than normal so I grabbed a dose of Lasix (Furosemide) to get the pee ball rollin' (and ROLL it sure 'nuff DID!) and downed it with the rest of my ritualistic mornin' handful of meds. Noted the time on the clock which read 9:35 a.m. and wondered just how long it'll be before the Lasix takes effect this time around.

'Twasn't long at all before I was up 'n runnin' towards the bathroom. It was 10:02 a.m. 'n I peed like it was nobody's business (so then WHY am I sharin' all this TMI stuff with y'all?). Went back to what I was doin' when notta few moments later that sudden severe urge to urinate struck me again. It's 10:15. Here we go AGAIN, back to the toilet. Ahhhh. Better. Go sit back down when it strikes AGAIN. 10:27. Then again at 10:36. And 10:45. And 10:57. And 11:03. And 11:17. Its now 11:25 and I'm about to go AGAIN. Hang on.

Ahhhh, that's sooooo much better. But in another 10 minutes or so I'll be flyin' off this chair and into the bathroom AGAIN, so I think I'm gonna end this rite about here. Besides, I think y'all have been subject to enuff of MDJ's Urination Nation Autobiography. Oh Lord, its 11:39. Here we go AGAIN. BRB.

I'm just real glad that I did ALL of the housework yesterday so I don't gotta stop every 10 or so to go empty this much-too-full bladder of mine. It's a huge pain in the rear (or maybe I outta say the OTHER nearby private part) to have to keep stoppin' what yer doin', jumpin' up, runnin' thru the house, sittin' down and completely eliminatin' yerself, goin' back to what ya were doin' then havin' to get up 'n do it all over again in another few moments.

Like, at 11:48, which is right NOW!

Sheesh, where the hell is a good ol' catheter when ya REALLY NEED ONE, anyway? ;-)

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