....she arises.
So for those of ya who've been wonderin' (many thanx for tryin' to keep tabs on me, Biker Baby....and I'm real sorry I never answered yer other emails) yes, I'm still alive. Perhaps not so well, but still here nonetheless.
So first and foremost, no....there have been no additional deaths since last I was here. I don't THINK so....at least, none that I may slightly care about anyway. I dunno if I really coulda handled any more, but what the hell.
Secondly, yeah, I'm still a freakin' mess, but the upside is that I finally found a new PCP (primary care physician)...one who doesn't talk to me with its back turned and who doesn't just hand me the same ol' refill scrips without payin' any kinda REAL attention to the actual problem. This new doc is pretty damn good so far....a female, which is unusual for me, but she does EVERYTHING...from ENT to GYN and even then some.....so considerin' the fact that I ain't had ANY kinda GYN work since my last baby was born (1992!)I think I've met my match. The doc already got me mammo'd (same results as last time only this time I'm refusin' another "butcher biopsy") and she's really pushin' for me to finally give in to proppin' my swollen feet up in them stinkin' stirrups so she can go searchin' in my body's deepest darkest places that NOBODY'S been in for a few years now. Hey, she's lucky I let her see my tits for crissake. It's a start.
Some more news from outta The Bowels is that MDJ is now in therapy...thanx to the above PCP. On my very first visit to her she caught on to my depression and she acted on it. The last asshole doc I had I went to for at least 13 years....but I reckon with yer back turned to me most of the time ya just can't quite catch on to the full scope of whats goin' on with yer patients. Anyway, so I go to therapy once a week, altho durin' my last appointment the therapist eluded to the fact that she wonders if I am REALLY and TRULY depressed, or could it be somethin' ELSE...then she went on vacation for two weeks. Looks like another idiot I'm gonna have to constantly deal with, but I'll be seein' her retarded ass again on Tuesday, so I reckon this'll be one of those TBC (to be continued) situations.
My youngest son turned 18 on July 1st, altho he still ain't gotta damn job. He's addicted to this damn computer....up all night, sleeps all day.....and he has no desire to really get crackin'. I'm gonna crack him upside his head if he thinks he's gonna live with ME the rest of his damn lazy life.
My youngest daughter has a new boyfriend, only its one whom I'm notta real big fan of since he's in the same damn boat as I am, only much much worse. For starters, he's damn near MY age (she's gonna be 26 on 9/27), he's been in 'n outta jail just about as often as my older son has (whose still out 'n about, thank you God!), he's got ONLY a part time job takin' out the garbage a few times a week someplace in NYC, he's on a real high dose of methadone AND he's still shootin' dope like a...well, like a dope fiend! My daughter calls me up constantly cryin' about this fool and I constantly end up screamin' at her 'n hangin' up on her...cuz she NEVER takes my advice and just looses this asshole. She conveniently forgets what *I* went thru...how bad it was with my own demons AND with the asshole men that *I* used to bring home from time to time. Well, like my dearly departed Mother always told ME "you made yer bed young lady...!"
But the BIGGEST news from here in The Bowels is: Rip is gone. After almost 10 years of our semi-long distance datin' goin' back 'n forth between The Bowels and Berlin, NY, he sold EVERYTHING....our house and the entire contents of, the bikes, the cars, EVERYTHING!, and he moved down to North Carolina. He got broke while waitin' for his UNION job to finally resume again, and I reckon he got disgusted while waitin' for ME to finally make the permanent move up North to Berlin. So he just up 'n left me :-(
And that stupid bitch therapist says I'm not depressed.
Well folks, this is where I'm gonna end for now, for I desperately need to go blow my nose and grab a cup of coffee. I reckon ya've noticed that I'm hardly online anymore (thanx to my computer-hoggin' son) but I do try to access Facebook from my cell phone as often as I can. You can check me out under the name of Donna Jean Rocchio (and for all you sociopathic stalkers who may be lurkin' out there, here's a warning: I wouldn't try it if I were you!) and thats about the best way to contact me these days. I still do check my email from time to time, but not as often.
So thanx for tunin' into MeanDonnaJean's Looney Tunes Lifetime channel.
Catch ya'll on the rebound!
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11 comments:
HUGS! HUGS! and more HUGS!!!!!
I'm glad you got a doctor with a brain. Therapy can be very helpful even though it doesn't always feel that way.
Sorry the bf left. More HUGS!
And the kids, well, I've decided they are destined to keep breaking our hearts at their ages. I hope that stops at some point but I do know how you feel.
Love,
Janice
I've been watching you pop in and out on facebook from time to time. I don't know you well, but I have always enjoyed your posts here.
Let's start with the doctors. Hooray for the new female doc who "does it all"...so few and far between to find one whose head is in the work they do. I mean that.
Might want to think about shopping for another head doc. If you don't get on with this one now, it's a given you will never trust him/it later. Visit docs till you find one you really LIKE.!!!
Kids...oh my god...don't get me started. My kid....sigh...how come they don't seem to remember the trials we adults put them through as kids while we were busy making the same mistakes they are currently making? And why the hell bother to call me, knowing I will get pissed off at ya for being such a weak willed wimp who won't listen to my council? Oh don't get me going...
MDJ...you have me in your corner...be well...and write about the stuff that bothers ya...it helps...people ya don't even know in person do care... like me.
Rock and Roll! Well it rarely forgets and you are unforgettable.
I'll look you up on facebook. I'm like you don't let people I don't know get too close. I'll make an exception for you lady. My therapist is a Recovered. She knows her smoke. (bad pun) She is good and very thoughtful. But she ain't in the Bowels of hell? Is that what you call it?
Stay well.
First...GLAD YOUR BACK!
Second...DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN! I've been serchin the NY obits every now and then.
Now that I have chewed you out as much as I dare, for fear of losing you again.
Female DRs...I have a female GYN and I wouldn't go back to a male GYN. It was real weird at first, but they are so much gentler and after you get a little used to the fact that some woman is touching you in places that have previously only been touch by men you start to realize they make better GYNs, since they know firsthand what it is like to be a woman.
The head doc…I agree with Chessie, give it a little more time and if it’s not working, don’t give up just keep looking till you find someone you like.
On the son…Rich’s son was like that. He lived with us while he was in Jr. high and again after he graduated. He didn’t want to work because it got in the way of his social life…can’t stay out all night if you work during the day. Rich came home after work one hot day to find the air running on high, 4 guys drinking his beer and grilling T-bones I bought for a dinner that we invited friends for. I reminded Rich what I did with my son. First …warned him to get a job and start being a man or else. Never said what the or else would be. … Second I turned off the cable…no computers then. Third …I shut off the phone… Fourth…Only stocked the house with healthy food that you had to prepare and took time to cook…this turned into there’s nothing to eat. The supplies where there and I taught him to cook years before, so no excuses…he actually loves to cook now and is good at it. Fifth…I bought cheap TP, and quit buying fabric softener sheets…I had some hid for my use…I didn’t buy anything that wasn’t NEEDED. Life at home wasn’t so comfy any more. When the complaints started rolling in, I told him I don’t have the money to live in the lap of luxury…if you want that stuff …go buy it…oh, that’s right, YOU DON’T HAVE A JOB! So Sad TOO BAD. Yes, I can be a bitch. I once put a sign on my front door…ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK…MOM ON STRIKE! I’m the mom that would make them hold hands for 5-10 minutes if they said…He’s touching me. It must have made an impact, my son makes his kids hug when they fight…I walked in to witness this one day and had to snicker knowing what was going on. I just said, let me guess…you guys were fighting. With tears in their eyes, they just slowly shook their heads. I told my son…that is just cruel. His answer was. You taught me well. Then told the kids…you can thank your grandmother for this punishment. See what I created. Any way back to Rick (my stepson)…he finally moved out on his own after some of my tactics were put into place and our relationship is just fine. It took them a while, but they finally realized that I did what I did because I wanted them to turn into responsible adults. Yelling at them didn’t work and once they’re a certain age, it’s hard to find a punishment that does work. It’s trial and error…we do the best we can as parents and hope for the best.
I don’t go on face book much…mostly to check on my grandkids. I’ll look you up next time I do.
Hey, if you check in more often, you won’t have long comments like this one. Good luck with the offspring and don’t be such a stranger.
It makes me so happy to hear that you're still around.
I just friend-requested you on facebook, by the way.
B
I'm sorry your having this shitty time MDJ. But damn it, kick that lazy bum out, move yourself into a small one bedroom apartment and worry about yourself for once. He's 18 now and your duty to keep him up is over. It's high time he sinks or swims on his own.
I hope to see you here more because for some damn reason I like your blog.
So glad to see you back Donna though sorry to hear things aren't that great. Good news about the decent doctor though - hope the therapy helps.
MDJ:
Welcome back, we missed you. Hope you are getting better with your new doctor.
I also have a female doctor . . .
take care
bob
Wet Coast Scootin
Hey MDJ, long time no see (or hear) Its old Crusty here. Sorry to hear lifes been kicking you in the gut these days. I know how you feel. My lifes done a 180 in the last year or so. Thank god its pointed in a better direction! Anyways....try not to let things get you down there are people out here that do care about ya and hope you find the strength to crack a smile now and then. Hey you made me smile...just reading about your GYN exam was just the thing i needed while having my morning coffee *wink* HUGS Babe! - Crusty
Well hell, I'm a little late commenting on this, but sorry to find that you might not be around here any longer.
I agree with who ever said it above...kick the fucker out. He needs to find out what the real world is about.
I am not a real facebook fan, so I doubt I'll see you over there. I WILL keep checking now and then over here though. And of course, you can still visit with all of us here...IF you can get your hands on the computer.
A jadedj silly ass word of encouragement...the best part is right around the corner...hard to see from this perspective, but it's there.
Welcome back MDJ
Fuck...you're messed up girl.
You need to clean up your language, get a positive outlook on life, set yourself a goal and go for it....Look after yourself and God will look after you. Smile and stop bitching and the world will smile right back at you.
Go take that shower and clean your head and spirit up and when you wake up tommorow, you will be ready to face the world and its many challenges....No Sympathy here...pull yourself together you can do it
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