Sunday, October 18, 2009

Wanted: A TV Life

I really need to get me a life....one that consists of stuff other than workin' all week, cleanin' the house, watchin' tv, washin' clothes, cookin' meals, shoppin' for the meals that I hate to be cookin' in the first place (just as much as I hate doin' the shoppin' for 'em), 'n sleepin' (my favorite pasttime as of late).....but I especially gotta knock off the watchin' tv part. Either the damn thing puts me into a deep coma or else it puts me into a much deeper depression than I'm already in.

Like today for instance. Upon wakin' from my second "nap" of the day, I'm switchin' thru the tv channels and I keep runnin' into television shows or commercials that consist of happy lil' families sittin' together at the dinner table all smiles 'n eatin' quite quietly....happy lil' kids obeyin' their parents every command.....happy big kids obeyin' their parents every command.....happy families on long expensive beautiful vacations.....happy families doin' this, happy kids doin' that. It made me SICK! And then I started thinkin'.....I could not recall one occasion where me 'n MY kids ever did ANY of those things.

Hell, whether big OR lil', it was a daily argument just to get 'em to clean up their rooms, do their homework, get dressed, brush their damn teeth, go to school 'n go to bed. The only time my kids EVER obeyed what I said was when the words "time to eat" came screamin' outta my mouth. Oh yes, then and ONLY THEN would they all come a-runnin'.....but not without fightin' over who was gonna sit where 'n who was usin' which fork 'n how that plate was their favorite plate and who was gonna get up to get the drinks and how its not fair cuz that one gotta extra piece of meat yesterday and yadda yadda yadda. The way they came runnin' whenever food was involved was as if they were those poor starved lil' African Biafra babies with the blowed up bellies and all......when in reality they were anything BUT. Nowhere NEAR to bein' starved I might add. Big bellies, hell yeah....but it sure wasn't from starvation. Quite the contrary as a matter of fact.

And we NEVER went on a vacation together. Not EVER. It if wasn't due to a severe lack of funds it was, awww hell, who am I kiddin'....it was ALWAYS due to a severe lack of funds. So thats THAT. Besides, I could just see it NOW....disastrous as all hell with all of us in a car or a plane or a train and which kid is fightin' with whom over who's gonna sit by the window and who's hungry and wants to stop to eat and who's gotta pee and who don't feel good and who's sittin' too close to the other one and so on and so forth. Oh no, now I know why I never went on vacations with my kids. I was SMART (for a change).

So then I started thinkin' again and thats when I decided that *I* should have what *they* in TV Land all have. *I* outta have a happy lil' Leave it to Beaver TV Life where everything is peachy keen and the husband goes to work happily each mornin' and the wife stays home all day while dressed in her Sunday best 'n high heels (ouch! not for THIS ol' gal!) and the kids are all just grand and the family is perfectly wonderful and they all eat together nicely and they go on vacations together joyfully and love each other unconditionally, etc.

And then BAM! reality up 'n hits me smack in the face and I'm quickly knocked back down to earth again.

Oh well, that's okay. June Cleaver I most certainly am NOT anyway.

Besides, I'll take my jeans 'n ridin' leather over skirts 'n heels ANY day.

Now, as far as these kids o' mine go ...........!!!

9 comments:

*fitcetera* said...

"Comparison is the thief of happiness."

I doubt those families exist anywhere. If they do they're the exception.

I had a hiatus from tv watching this summer and it was pretty enlightening how much that damn thing can affect my mood.

Cash Register Jockey said...

It's stuff like that which makes me glad I don't have cable, only an antenna with rather poor reception most of the time. I've found that even if I'm out of the loop, I'm a much better and more productive person without television blaring in the background (or foreground) all the time.

GYMONR said...

DAM MeanDonnnaJean for a minute there I thought I was seeing your softer side…ha-ha…truth is I was raised in one of those leave it to beaver kind of families (except my mom worked) family vacation, no harsh words spoken around the house, dinner at the table every night…well you get the idea…but after all said and done, once I moved out on my own I found out real quick…life is nothing like leave it to beaver…I was unprepared and took a lot of lumps until I got things figured out. So all this said, maybe what you think as a bad thing maybe just preparing your kids for life…all you can do is do the best you can…and if your not doing the best you can…TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE!!!
Big Al

The Peach Tart said...

You go MeanDonnaJean. You totally be yourself. Normal families are a myth. I prefer colorful families like mine and yours.

Mr. Charleston said...

I grew up in a "normal" family and us four boys still fought like cats and dogs. And we had river and woods and horses and dogs and alligators and hogs and chickens to keep us occupied.
But, where the hell have you been DonnaJean? Haven't seen you 'round my place in a while.

Kathryn said...

I'd stop watching those shows! Watch the dysfunctional ones like Married...with Children. That'll make you feel better.
Or even better: watch SuperNanny...
you'll feel like Mother of the freakin' year!!

"Joker" said...

Ha! There is no such life. In my experience I've found that the people who appear on the outside to be the most 'normal' are the ones with the biggest pile of bones in their closets.

Go to Dave's Road Grits Cafe and read the article he links to. That really puts things in perspective.

My soon to be ex wife came from the biggest phony Leave it to Beaver wannabe family I think there is. Her mother is absolutely convinced in her own deranged mind that she is some sort of hybrid of June Cleaver and Martha Stewart. The reality is as you'd imagine...not even close.

These were people more concerned with an address in a lily-white upper middle class suberb than anything else. The landscaping perfect, the new car in the driveway. The china and candleabras out for Easter and Thanksgiving.

The two "perfect" sons, one of which finally got caught smoking pot, an internal scandal that was quickly hushed up. The other is now in his 40s, has never had a girlfriend for very long, and is still not married. Hmmm, wonder why? Nah, that can't be....these folks are NORMAL don't you know.

I could go on and on, but my point is there is no normal. Live your life so you are happy, by whatever means are necessary, and TO HELL with what anybody else thinks about how you do it. That's why there are no reality shows about bikers on TV.

mo.stoneskin said...

The thing is pretty much every ad makes the people in it look happy - otherwise there would be no point. That's why even the pretty blond who is advertising anti-constipation pills looks so damn happy yet after her (assumed) constipation you would think she would at least look tired. You know, a bit strained perhaps. There's no realism these days.

jadedj said...

This is precisely why I do not mow or rake leaves...just to piss off my anal, "cleaver" neighbors. As to the T.V. thing...waste of brain cells, particularly those types of programs.

And who the hell WANTS to be well adjusted...boring!