I really need to get me a life....one that consists of stuff other than workin' all week, cleanin' the house, watchin' tv, washin' clothes, cookin' meals, shoppin' for the meals that I hate to be cookin' in the first place (just as much as I hate doin' the shoppin' for 'em), 'n sleepin' (my favorite pasttime as of late).....but I especially gotta knock off the watchin' tv part. Either the damn thing puts me into a deep coma or else it puts me into a much deeper depression than I'm already in.
Like today for instance. Upon wakin' from my second "nap" of the day, I'm switchin' thru the tv channels and I keep runnin' into television shows or commercials that consist of happy lil' families sittin' together at the dinner table all smiles 'n eatin' quite quietly....happy lil' kids obeyin' their parents every command.....happy big kids obeyin' their parents every command.....happy families on long expensive beautiful vacations.....happy families doin' this, happy kids doin' that. It made me SICK! And then I started thinkin'.....I could not recall one occasion where me 'n MY kids ever did ANY of those things.
Hell, whether big OR lil', it was a daily argument just to get 'em to clean up their rooms, do their homework, get dressed, brush their damn teeth, go to school 'n go to bed. The only time my kids EVER obeyed what I said was when the words "time to eat" came screamin' outta my mouth. Oh yes, then and ONLY THEN would they all come a-runnin'.....but not without fightin' over who was gonna sit where 'n who was usin' which fork 'n how that plate was their favorite plate and who was gonna get up to get the drinks and how its not fair cuz that one gotta extra piece of meat yesterday and yadda yadda yadda. The way they came runnin' whenever food was involved was as if they were those poor starved lil' African Biafra babies with the blowed up bellies and all......when in reality they were anything BUT. Nowhere NEAR to bein' starved I might add. Big bellies, hell yeah....but it sure wasn't from starvation. Quite the contrary as a matter of fact.
And we NEVER went on a vacation together. Not EVER. It if wasn't due to a severe lack of funds it was, awww hell, who am I kiddin'....it was ALWAYS due to a severe lack of funds. So thats THAT. Besides, I could just see it NOW....disastrous as all hell with all of us in a car or a plane or a train and which kid is fightin' with whom over who's gonna sit by the window and who's hungry and wants to stop to eat and who's gotta pee and who don't feel good and who's sittin' too close to the other one and so on and so forth. Oh no, now I know why I never went on vacations with my kids. I was SMART (for a change).
So then I started thinkin' again and thats when I decided that *I* should have what *they* in TV Land all have. *I* outta have a happy lil' Leave it to Beaver TV Life where everything is peachy keen and the husband goes to work happily each mornin' and the wife stays home all day while dressed in her Sunday best 'n high heels (ouch! not for THIS ol' gal!) and the kids are all just grand and the family is perfectly wonderful and they all eat together nicely and they go on vacations together joyfully and love each other unconditionally, etc.
And then BAM! reality up 'n hits me smack in the face and I'm quickly knocked back down to earth again.
Oh well, that's okay. June Cleaver I most certainly am NOT anyway.
Besides, I'll take my jeans 'n ridin' leather over skirts 'n heels ANY day.
Now, as far as these kids o' mine go ...........!!!