Friday, October 23, 2009

Kids & Cats

My son is a real smart ass. Not of the brilliant minded type mind you but rather of the smart mouth type...altho thankfully, its all in good fun. Lately, whenever I call him a smart ass he won't miss a beat. He'll quickly turn around, grab his ass cheeks and squeeze 'em together to make it seem like his ass is talkin' back to me, all while mutterin' outloud in a high pitched voice "E equals MC squared". That's his smart ass's smart ass comment to my smart ass comment. Ain't he a brilliant gem?

One of the seven or so damn cats who belongs to the alcoholic bitch downstairs in the basement shit in my hallway outside of the living room door again. I found it at 6:45 this a.m. when I was leavin' to go to work. It's not the kinda thing ya really wanna see first thing in the a.m. when yer in a rush to leave for work....especially when its prior to suckin' down yer very first cup of hot black coffee. This time tho I wasn't as "nice" as I was the last time it happened. This time, while tryin' to contain my rage 'n fury, I calmly scraped it up with a piece of cardboard, I calmly walked down to the first floor, I stood calmly outside of the basement door and then calmly flung it at the bitch's door as hard as I could. Next time I'm just gonna smear it on the damn doorknob instead. Maybe THEN she'll get my drift.

I think I've done my fair share of bitchin' for today.

4 comments:

Cash Register Jockey said...

I would've gone for the doorknob first, honestly.

Punch said...

that is some stinkin' thinkin'. Feed the cat. They don't shit where they eat. No Kiddin' Might be fun to see where it goes next.

Punch said...

well "goes next" was not meant to be a pun, but a destination.

Danny said...

Tell her to clean her litter boxes. Our cats will only go on the floor when the boxes need cleaning. We clean ours everyday so we never have a problem. Vomit however...