It is now approximately 8 hours later since the time I first sat my ass down in front of this here damn computer in the hopes of findin' me a new 10,000 BTU window air conditioner to replace the one that just pooped out on me. Needless to say it's fuckin' hot, I'm real cranky, I ain't had my daily nap yet, my head is spinnin' round 'n round more than poor lil' Regan's ever did in the movie "The Exorcist", my blood pressure is almost at the boilin' point which is damn near equal to the disgustingly high temps both inside 'n out, 'n my patience level is waaaaay past the limit whereby any moment now they'll be callin' the EMT's to come 'n carry me off to the nearest nuthouse where its certain that I'll eventually be diagnosed as a psychotic schizophrenic bitch.
I just hope the ward is air conditioned.
I fuckin' HATE shoppin', no matter WHAT kind (food, clothes, appliances, gifts) or HOW (whether its in person, online or via catalog) cuz it's so damn nervewrackin' for me. I don't do it often, thank God, so when I've actually GOTTA do it, its worse than a chore that ya've been puttin' off for days on end. I'm the kinda person who can't just !bing bang boom! spy somethin' 'n purchase it outright. Nope, not ME. I've first gotta thoroughly investigate it; interrogate everyone who's bought it before me; read every last damn consumer review of it for myself (even if there's 109 reviews, I'll read each 'n every one); compare it to at least ten others of the same brand which are similar in size 'n price; check other manufacturers comparable items to see who has the better product; check to see whether I'm gettin' the BEST buy for my dollar; poke it; prod it; prick it; 'n then maybe, just maybe, I'll pluck it from the shelf or purchase it online. Lemme tell ya, guys....it's all so fuckin' exhaustin'!!! I might as well run a friggin' marathon for crissake.
So here it is, 8 hours later, 'n I'm no better off than when I first started this mess. It'll probably take me another 4-5 days of doin' this same style of insane shoppin' before I actually decide on which friggin' air conditioner I'm gonna end up buyin' (didn't I tell ya, Crusty?).
By that time, I'll probably end up meltin' into one gigantic puddle o' sweat 'n tears, all pooled nice 'n neat underneath this broken down ol' chair that I'm sittin' in.
Oz's Wicked Ol' Witch won't have NUTTIN' on me, kids ;-)