Shit!

Ya know that catshit-filled backyard I spoke of earlier today? And do ya recall those dirty clothes I was washin' today that I mentioned earlier as well? Well, today was my lucky day!

Today I actually got to tippytoe thru that catshit-encrusted backyard in order to retrieve the just-freshly-washed items of clothing that I had washed earlier in my second floor apartment and had hung up on my second floor clothesline..... the same second floor clothesline that finally decided that today, after 12 years or so of bein' completely trustin' 'n faithful, it was gonna pop the hook outta its well-worn-hole-in-the-back-of-the-house, which then ended up sendin' every damn piece of clothing I had washed down into the catshit filled backyard. OMG friggin' shoot me!

And all this was unbeknownst to me I might add.....that is, until my landlady yelled up the steps to me 'n told me what had happened. Panic then swiftly engulfed me, just by thinkin' about what I hadda do to go get those friggin' clothes outta that friggin' backyard. This is the same backyard that I have refused to step foot in for the last 10 years....since my now 17 year old had his 10 year old birthday party back there...because of all the shit that's back there. Literally.

Now, I DO have a lil' deck off the back of the house so that I CAN hang my clothes outside, but there's no steps leadin' off it. There's just the deck, which is good enuff for what *I* need it for. But to make matters worse, the gate leadin' into the backyard is always locked....for what reason I do not know nor do I care to know.....so I couldn't even get into the backyard that way if I wanted to. So the landlady (who is also a good friend of mine) had me go thru her first floor apartment to get outside.

So barefoot 'n all (which was ANOTHER stupid move on MY part) I ran downstairs 'n went into the backyard, tryin' to dodge all the balls of shit that were lyin' all over the place while I was also tryin' to grab up my clothes 'n clothespins 'n hope that none of my clothes had landed in any of the shit. I was a wreck....an OCD-ridden wreck.....over these damned downed clothes. And to top it all off, I didn't know how the hell I was gonna get the clothes, the clothesline, the clothesline reel 'n the hook back up to the second floor all by myself in one trip. There was NO WAY I was gonna go back down into that shithole a second time.

Just in the nick o' time, landlady's ol' man came strollin' home (she had just woke up 'n was only in her underwear at the time.....we do that 'round here.....so she couldn't come outside 'n help me...sheesh! we do have SOME class, ya know!) so he gave me a helpin' hand to get everything back up to the second floor (that's one downside of my not havin' a man around the house....altho this week I myself have already fixed a non-flushin' toilet, a busted wooden chair 'n a broken sink knob in the bathroom.....not to mention the fact that for the first time in my life I caulked the bathtub a couple o' months ago. Not too shabby for a no-man bitch, huh?). Anyway, I brought all the clothes inside 'n did a thorough catshit inspection of every piece. Thankfully, some of the clothesline ended up stuck on the neighbor's fence, so those clothes were mostly up off the ground. For those pieces which didn't, well, they lucked out cuz they didn't land in any shit.

So now my next project is gonna be to somehow figure out how I'm gonna fix that damn clothesline. I'm not too keen on drillin' a hole in the side of the house but I know that the hole that's there now is shot to hell. I can't buy a larger size hook cuz I already did that. They just don't have any larger so I really dunno what I'm gonna do.

Ideas, anyone? I can use all the help I can get here.....along with a nice strong pair of manly hands (if ya got any extra to spare, that is. I promise, I'll give 'em back to ya!).