Sunday, June 16, 2013

Catchin' Crap

While sittin' outside waitin' for a taxi earlier today I watched as a woman walked her dog down the block. Now, that's really nuthin' outta the ordinary around here cuz plenty of folk walk their dogs in this area, but what WAS outta the ordinary was the scene which was about to unfold before my very eyes.

It was obvious that the dog was about to take a wicked shit and I really hoped that the woman had brought a bag or somethin' to put the crap in so that she didn't leave it on the sidewalk for some poor ol' schmuck like me or my son to step in. I spotted a plastic bag in her hand and I was immediately relieved, thinkin' to myself  "thank God someone around here has enuff sense to clean up after their damn dog". Most DON'T. And that shit really burns my ass. But speakin' of shit burnin' one's ass and feelin' relieved......

As the dog squatted and began to relieve himself the woman quickly stepped behind the dog, opened up the plastic bag and bent over. Now, I just assumed that she was droppin' down to pick up the turds her animal had left behind but what she did instead was really really crazy. This woman was tryin' to place the plastic bag above and below her dog's asshole so that she could CATCH the hot steamin' load of crap comin' outta it. Instead of just waitin' for the shit to hit the floor as most folk do, this lunatic was on the sidewalk, in plain site, lookin' like she was tryin' to play a game of "Catch Me If You Can". It was all so very disturbin'. And the look on that poor ol' dogs face was, like, one of total disgust and embarrassment. I felt for the poor ol' pooch. I really did. She, on the other hand, appeared to have no damn shame at all.

So I ask all of ya dog lovers out this somethin' "new"? With all of the newest contraptions that different inventors have come up with to pick up dog shit, is this, like, the "new thing" out there? Is this what cleanin' up dog shit has come to? Cuz if so, I'll be damned..!

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